Contentment

Sometimes, something, somewhere seen or heard, can make you think. It can make you reflect on everything you've ever done in your life. It makes you look back on even the tiniest of actions that you've carried out. But most importantly why you ever did those things. What made you do them? Was it just a random act due to boredom and lack of sense? An act committed to add some spice and excitement in your life. Or, was it something you did because you meant it? You wanted the exact same thing, and you couldn't settle for anything less. Looking back makes me realize that most of the things I did were just-because, but the ones I meant for them to happen were epic. The just-because were open-ended. I left it on Fate to let it build, and take it anywhere. The concept of 'let's see what happens' put in effect here. And some of those turned out to be things which I would never ever forget in my life. A small thing done without any reason or worrying about its consequences.
There are a couple of things that I would want to change in my life, but who doesn't? As they say, nobody's perfect and nor are their lives. But we cannot. Time-machines only exist in movies, books or in secret government laboratories which do not allow us access. We are only left with remorse, guilt and a bucket full of regret. But yes, it all is worth the experience. This way, at least you won't ever regret not doing it.
But, for one minute, just stop thinking about everything and pretend you are going to die tomorrow. Would you be satisfied, and accept it? Not worry about all the things you never had time to do? Just be peaceful and serene? I don't think so.
The last moments will be spent in a tizzy probably hyper-ventilating. Because you can never have enough. Ever. Because happiness is hard to get. It is something that is overlooked, yet its most important. The key to happiness is lost in the garden of Eden. And I, for one, have finally stopped looking for it.

If I die young,
Bury me in satin,
Lay me down on a bed of roses,
Sink me in the river at dawn,
Send me away with the words of a love song.

I am content, because if I think of all the things that COULD have gone wrong when they didn't, my life doesn't seem bleak or even miserable. It's pretty good. And it can always get better, but it can get worse too. To enjoy what you have now  is the best way. Because one day in the future, you just might not have it.